Oh I Like You Internet

Why does this make me laugh so hard? I don't even know. But there you go...



And then there's this tumblr, which I have to admit earned my undying love for the name alone: Cats That Look Like Ron Swanson

AND, AND, THIS: Who is Arcade Fire?

LOL for freaking ever. Keep on doing what you do Arcade Fire. I love ya. (And if in the midst of this "doing what you do" you happen to continue to piss off a few million Beiber Fever crazies, then well, good on you).

Where's your jetpack Zuckerberg?

I watched The Social Network for the first time the other day (NEWSFLASH: I'm a teensy bit behind the times) and absolutely loved it from beginning to end. It was completely riveting which, if you think about it, is slightly absurd considering that the first half hour of the movie is about hacking and breaking codes and computer jargon nonsense that is basically the same as speaking a foreign language to me. I'm not totally sure how they did it - some combination of interesting music and likable actors - but well done creators of The Social Network. Hats off.

This is not to say though that the movie didn't wrinkle my brain a little bit. Why? Because Mark Zuckerberg is only one year younger than me AND I so distinctly remember being a senior in college and sitting with my roommates on our computers and signing up for Facebook (it was boring compared to the colors and zing of MySpace but everyone was doing it so.) And now everyone and their mother is on Facebook (literally) and MySpace is lame and people are twittering and social networking is this thing, this part of life like going to work and eating dinner.

Remember when  chat rooms were evil?

It's been almost six years since I graduated from college. I got up this morning and considered whether or not I could afford a frappaccunio. The power went out at my house before I could finish drying my hair. And then I updated my Facebook status. Mark Zuckerberg's probably taking his morning swim through his vault of gold coins while his butler irons his underwear. Ugh. Not that I want to be him. Not that I ever expected to be him with an English degree from a small liberal arts college on the west coast. It's just... how much of it is life choices and how much of it is pure flippin' good luck and being at the right place at the right time?

Shannon is "suffering from white girl problems."

Books of January

I was all set to write out some kind of hoity-toity intellectual review here, touting the literary successes  and failings of these books; but then I actually started writing and it turned into typical incoherent nonsense in which I ramble about what I OMG LOOOOOVED. So. These won't be reviews or even mini little book reports, just my thoughts, for whatever they're worth (or understood).

And this is of vital importance. My ranking system. I could go with the typical 1-5 star ratings or thumbs up or thumbs down, but let's keep this informal shall we? 

Shannon's Highly Mathematical Ranking System For Judging Literary Quality

1.  HOLY CRAP. WHAT WAS THAT.
2.  Meh.
3.  Good book, I'll add it to my collection
4.  LOVED IT.
5.  OMG. FLAIL. I WANT TO MARRY THIS BOOK.

Got that straight? Not too complicated? Okay, here we go.

1. Sloppy Firsts - Megan McCafferty 
One of the reasons that "Chick-Lit" sometimes annoys me is that it tends to always be the same. Some unlucky-at-love young woman moves to the city or dreams of moving to the city and finding a handsome husband or winning the man she's always been in love with and along the way she meets another guy she hates at first but then slowly learns to love because he really gets her and yadda yadda yadda. (And yes I admit it, I still do read it and enjoy it. BUT, the repetitiveness IS annoying).

This is why I like Young Adult Literature. It's actually about STUFF. Which sounds vague but is true. I'm 27 years old but I can relate to a lot of the issues that these teen characters are going through, especially in terms of the emo "WHAT IS THIS LIFE?" question that is always prevalent. THAT is interesting to me. So this, the first book in the Jessica Darling series, is in fact darling. Which is weird because the main character is sometimes unlikeable and I want to smack her for all the whining she does but then I remember, she's a teenager and so much of what she thinks and feels is what I thought and felt in high school.

She's awkward and lonely and her best friend has just moved away. She doesn't feel like she belongs anywhere at school, she's a stressed out insomniac, she's uncomfortable in her own skin - I relate to these things. And the very conversational way that Megan McCafferty writes dialogue and even Jessica's inner thoughts, bring this whole story to life.

And then there's Marcus Flutie. I love me some Marcus Flutie. I wish I had known a Marcus Flutie in high school. (For that matter, I wish I knew one now). I have no idea why, he's supposed to be a redhead, but I keep picturing him being played by Scott Michael Foster who plays Cappie on Greek. I don't know. But the image works for me.  He's the archetype bad boy who does drugs and sleeps around and mouths off but as we, and Jessica get to know him we see that there's something deeper there (the something deeper being the thing that makes me love him). And in all honesty, Marcus Flutie makes this books for me. I don't know what that says about my reasonings and taste.

RATING: LOVED IT.

2. Second Helpings - Megan McCafferty
Second verse. Same as the first.

And Marcus Flutie is even more AMAZING.

RATING: Good book, I'll add it to my collection. 

3. An Abundance of Katherines - John Green
Another Young Adult novel. This one follows Colin, a recent high school graduate who has just has his heart broken by Katherine, the 19th Katherine that's he's dated over the course of his life. Colin is a child prodigy, he's broken-hearted and his best friend decides to cure him by taking him on a road trip.

Along the way Colin attempts to use his enormous brain power to come up with some sort of mathematical equation to pre-determine the outcome of a relationship. We get glimpses into the the past nineteen relationships, and meet a whole new cast of characters that enter his life through the coarse of the book.

So, if you knew the outcome of a relationship before entering into it, would it make a difference? If you knew your heart was going to get broken in the end would you still find the experience to be worth it? I don't know. In hindsight I might be able to say that certain painful moments have been worth it and I wouldn't change those things. But if I knew something was coming, if I met a great guy tomorrow and knew that we would have an amazing relationship but that it would eventually end, would I still put myself through it? Honestly, I have no clue. But it's something to think about.

RATING: LOVED IT

4. The Help - Kathryn Stockett 
One of the marks of a good book for me is if I'm still thinking about it days later. Did the setting feel real? Are the characters still with me? Are the themes still resonating?

In the case of this book, I can give all those questions a resounding YES. YES. YES. YES. I had heard that it was good and have actually had it on my book shelf to read for about six months; so now I'm just wondering what took me so long to read it. SUCH a good book with very real characters and dialogue I could hear perfectly in my head and a story that made it hard to put down.

It presents a very real image of life in Civil Rights era Mississippi, of a time that seems so long ago, of attitudes and perceptions that that seem so archaic and yet, aren't. The 1960's were NOT all that long ago. My own parents were alive during these years and when I think of it in these terms it's a little mind-boggling. And what's even more insane to me? These attitudes STILL exist. Perhaps not on as great a scale, but they're still there, permeating our politics and educational system and the very way we look at and treat each other.

Despite the fact that this story delves into some dark times and ideas, there's still an underlying sense of hope in these pages seen through the relationship that these women form, the difference they attempt to make and the knowledge (of the reader) that things eventually DO change. When I finished the last page it was with a *sigh* of sadness but only because it was over and I wanted to continue on the journey with these characters.

But then of course I just found out that there's a movie coming out staring Emma Stone so this just makes me super happy.

RATING: OMG. FLAIL. I WANT TO MARRY THIS BOOK.

Things I'm Loving

1. Reading
Seems strange to write this here; it's always been a part of who I am. Shannon likes reading. Everyone knows this. But last year I didn't read much of anything besides Anna Karenina and The Hunger
Games series and then maybe the 7th Harry Potter book for the upteenth time in order to prepare for the move. But this year, in accordance with # 1 on The 2011 List, I have been reading. And loving it. There's really nothing like getting so swept up in a book that you cannot put it down. I've missed that. 

2. This tumblr. 
Community quotes + random photography =  AWESOME. 

3. Dove Dark Chocolates

I have a crazy sweet tooth. If there are sweets in the house I will eat them. I'm not the kind of person that can have a couple cookies and then forget about them and come back and have some a couple days later. No, if I know they're in the house they will be gone by the next day. It's horrible, really and I'm trying not to do that. So, I bought myself a bag of dark chocolates because even my sweet tooth cravings can't handle too much dark chocolate. I have two pieces and that's enough. It helps curb the cravings, it tastes yummy and it makes me happy because then I'm not filled with holy crap what did I eat feelings of guilt afterward. So there. 

4. Bejeweled
Ugh. It's such a time suck.  But I can't stop playing. 

5. Cougar Town
When this show started last year I pretty quickly wrote it off as being a "Monica Geller as Real Housewife" pile of of crap. Oh, but how wrong I was. This show is quirky and fun and about so much more than some 40's single mom trying to hook-up with younger men. All the characters are delightful including Busy Phillip's Laurie (who is probably my favorite character) and Dan Byrd's Travis (how horrible is it that I first recognized him as being from that Cinderella-esque Hilary Duff movie?). Courtney Cox might be the star but at heart it's an ensemble show and some of the best moments come from the group hanging out and drinking wine and playing silly games like Penny Can or "truth gun." Everyone gets a chance to shine and just as in Community, the different relationships within the group are all unique (Andy and Bobby's "bromance," Laurie and Ellie's frenemies, Jules and Travis and their hyper-close mother/son dynamic, etc).

A few weeks ago I was sick in bed and spent the entire day mainlining the first season and now I am completely on board. (And Scott Foley appears in the first season! Noel Crane! How can that be a bad thing?)

Check it out if you haven't already!

The 2011 List

New Years Resolutions. Basically one big recipe for failure and disappointment right?  

Oh, it's the start of the new year and I'm going to be better and lose those ten pounds and spend more time with my family and quit smoking and volunteer at the local homeless shelter! It's the year of a new me! I'm REALLY going to do it this time!

*Fast-forward two-weeks later*

Eh. I hurt my back working out and I'm tired and stressed and it's almost tax time and boo I don't have anyone to spend Valentines Day with again and my boss sucks and this bacon cheeseburger tastes SO good and what New Years Resolution? Oh yeah...

Last year my friends and I decided not to make resolutions. Hence, The 2010 Project. Ten things that we wanted to do or accomplish sometime during the year. Fun things that we've always wanted to try, goals that we wanted to strive for, new things and ways of looking at life. These weren't New Years resolutions, these were... well, a bucket list of sorts.

Okay. I know. It sounds an awful lot like a New Years resolution. Especially considering things like last years inclusion of "wear a bikini on the beach." But whatever. It's makes sense to me. Haters to the left.

So. This year I'm trying it again. I suppose I should put eleven things on the liast since it is 2011. But let's not get too crazy.

Drumroll please...

1. Read 25 books I've never read
2. Submit something for publication
3. Start running
4. Get a passport
5. Participate in or join something
6. Blog at least once per week
7. Learn a new skill
8. Go somewhere I've never been
9. Give up fast food
10. Do at least 1 thing the "Shannon of 2010" wouldn't have done.

Several of these things were on last years list but they are things that I would still like to do, damn my laziness, so there you go.

The hardest one? Will probably be #9. It's not that I'm addicted to fast food or even eat it all that much. But once again, laziness and sloth kick in and *cue whiny voice* I don't waaaaaaaaant to cook. It's so much eeeeeeasier to swing through the In 'n Out drive-thru on the way home. (Although Melissa can vouch for the fact that this isn't always the best idea. Am I right friend?) Well, I don't want to do that this year. And it sort of helps that the last few times I've eaten fast food I've gotten sick and my brain is already in, did that burger come in a wrapper? NO. DO NOT WANT mode. So I'm gonna ride with that for a bit.

* My criteria for deciding if something is "fast-food": Does this establishment normally have a drive-thru? If yes, then it is fast food. McDonalds, Burger King, In n' Out (Sob! I'll miss you the most!) - all out.

So. What skills should I learn? Guitar-playing? A new language? How to drive stick? (Oh Loyd Dobler and Pacey Witter, where are you when I need you?) And what books should I read? Which destination should I chose as my "place I've never been?"

I DON'T KNOW! There are so many options and choices and that's what's fun, that's what makes me excited. Hopefully in 12 months I'll be able to say, "Look! Here's my rejection letter from such and such magazine!" and "This is the list of books I've read!" and "Watch me play this song on the guitar!" and "WOW, I haven't eaten fast food in SO long!" and "Look at this video of me sky-diving!" (YIKES). And even if I can't? Well then, may the next twelve months be as interesting and love/fun/joy/laughter filled as possible.

Whatever happens, happens.

I don't want to wait for my life to be over

I'm pretty vocal about the fact that Dawson Leery is one of my least favorite television characters of all time. Somewhere in the middle of Dawson's Creek's third season his overindulged whininess because to much to handle and suddenly EVERYTHING he did made me want to throw heavy things at my television screen. And I was in high school at the time. So my parents would not have appreciated this.

Unfortunately for James Van Der Beek, like he even cares what I think, I somehow dragged him down with my anti-Dawson vendetta so that ever since the Creek days I've always had a negative response to anything he does. I laugh at his accent in Varsity Blues(I. Don't. Want. Your. Laihf!), I was meh about his appearance in How I Met Your Mother. I... I actually can't, off the top of my head, name anything else he's done since then. But you get the point.

But THIS! How can I hate THIS guy?!

Vandermemes from James Van Der Beek

Holy crap. That crying face has been the best thing in the entire world ever since he made it in the season three premiere. The fact that he's able to make have a sense of humor about it automatically bumps him up about eighty billion awesome points.

Well played Mr. Van Der Beek. You've earned my respect. Like you give a crap. 

he hates me, yet he caught me; man is good

Well, it's that time of year kiddies (Okay, I'm a little behind the curve here but bear with me, I'm recovering from the stomach flu). It's a new year! Time to rehash the best and worst of the past twelve months. Why? I don't know. Because we all harbor a secret fetish for list making? Doesn't matter. Here we go...

Things I Loved in 2010

1. My friends
2. Being single
3. Lollapalooza
4. Community
5. Roadtrips

I'd spend all day explaining why I love all those particular things but I've already talked ad nauseum about each and every one so I don't think it's necessary. Here's what you really need to know: 2010 was a good year.

Yes, a lot of crappy things transpired. People got sick and hurt; my job is on shaky ground; I spent a lot of time being uncertain about things and life and myself; half the time I still do want to just get up and leave and start over BUT, BUT, BUT, life is still good. At it's core, at the center, when everything extraneous boils away, my life is good. And I could spend a lot of time searching through the thesaurus for a word that is less trite but honestly? It works. My life is good. As in, I know good people who do good things and make me want to BE good. I have it easy. I don't know how else to say that.

I began the year wanting to shake off the events of 2009. I wanted to start over and be different. I wanted a change. And maybe from the outside my life looks similar (I still work for the same company and live in the same house and hang out with the same friends) but I FEEL changed. If *poof* the "Shannon of today" could go back in time and replace the "Shannon of 2009" she would do things differently. Of course, I suppose that's why they say hindsight is 20/20. But hey, lessons have been learned.

Things I Did in 2010

1. Dyed by hair brown
2. Got a tattoo
3. Made out with a random stranger
4. Went on a blind date
5. Learned to like sushi

This list makes me sound like a rebellious teenager. And maybe that's what it is. Back in the day I was not a teenager that tested the limits. I've NEVER tested the limits. I am perfectly fine staying safe and secure behind the guard rails of life. So sure, dying my hair isn't death defying and getting a tattoo with my sisters on my 27th birthday doesn't exactly scream ANARCHY but for me? It's a huge deal. These are things that the aforementioned "Shannon of 2009" would not have done. So. Mission accomplished.

Wow. I suddenly sounds like some sort of wild-eyed, list making, Type-A personality who marches into each day with a to-do list and a growly face of determination. It's not true. Crap, I'm lazy as hell. See: The 2010 Project.

Let's revisit this shall we? Ten things I wanted to accomplish by the end of the year.

1. Submit something for publication
2. Learn 3 new things
3. Wear a bikini on the beach
4. Get a passport and use it
5. Sing karaoke
6. Make a new friend
7. Get a tattoo
8. Volunteer somewhere
9. Take a class
10. Read Time Magazine's Top 10 Novels

Right off the bat, I admit that I did not accomplish 1, 3, 4, 5, 8, and 9. As for learning three new things - I didn't learn three new skills BUT I learned to like sushi. And I learned that I look good as a brunette. And that single life can be kind of awesome. So, that's something right?

I did really try reading those books on the Time Top Ten list. Miracle of miracles I made it through Anna Karenina. But something about that book exhausted the life out of me and I couldn't even fathom the idea of picking up War and Peace. Look, I know these books are classics, and I was an English major so I should have an appreciation for these literary offerings... blah, blah, blah. You know what? I'm okay not reading and enjoying these books. They're not for me. They never have been. When I read something I want to get lost and transported to another world. Not BORED OUT OF MY FREAKING SKULL. Hey! Another lesson learned - I DON'T have to like the classics. Sorry Tolstoy.

Make a new friend and get a tattoo. These are things I did. Sure, two out of ten doesn't sound impressive. But you know what? I don't give a damn. I could have accomplished absolutely none of the things on that list and it still would have been a good year. Lazy? Yes. Happy? Yes. So? Win-Win. I sat on my ass and watched a lot of television but life is still good.

This doesn't mean though that I'm not going to make another list and set more goals and strive to BE and DO and LIVE more. I'm always going to want that. It's human nature. If we didn't desire and reach and dream nothing would ever get done. We'd all be dead of the plague or traveling by carriage or living under Nazi regime. Progress only happens when someone, somewhere sets an impossible goal. Sure. It might end in utter failure and misery and heartbreak (or an ice-cream binge on the couch in front of the flatscreen) but on the off-chance of success, it's 100% worth it.

So there you have it. 2010 in a nutshell. A big confusing nutshell of opposing ideas and fun and laughter and awesome people and memories. I don't know what life will be like in 2011. I hope to laugh some more. And make some new friends. And dream some new dreams. And continue to let myself change.

Maybe I should dye my hair RED.

And to end, ANOTHER LIST!

Top Five Songs of 2010

1. Home - Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeroes
2. Humdrum Town - Theophilus London
3. Infinity Guitars - Sleigh Bells
4. Bitch Look At Me Now - Childish Gambino
5. Awake My Soul - Mumford & Sons

Peace out 2010!