Ellipses

…want, this thing I want but cannot name
that sits, tantalizing, at the tip of my tongue,
dancing along the edge of my brain, (tap-dancing over curiosity)
My lips make shape of the formless word,
yet sit there silent – continue.

What is this thing? Where am I stuck
restless, legs sticking to green vinyl
as the waitress asks me again,
pen at the edge of the table, tapping out my indecision.

I am consumed with craving for food that doesn’t exist.
Some unknown taste concoction
of tangy and sweet and spicy and smooth.
This empty ache in my stomach persists, persists
for something that’s not even real.

What is this thing? Where am I stuck
restless, legs sticking to green vinyl
as the waitress asks me again,
pen at the edge of the table, tapping out my indecision.

This faceless thing that chases me.
feels perpetually close, closing in
The hair rises on the back of my neck
but when I turn there is nothing and just this emptiness
of something I didn’t know was lost.

What is this thing? Where am I stuck
restless, legs sticking to green vinyl
as the waitress asks me again,
pen at the edge of the table, tapping out my indecision.

I itch to jump up and run out the door, legs pumping, feet pounding the pavement in steady rhythm where there is no path, on the way to somewhere new, unknown, dancing over the edge of a cliff to where I can swim through satin dreams of yellow and pink hues and climb back up raindrops through a dizzying lightening storm whilst screaming myself into a million pieces of light and sound and fury.

Impossibility.

Running in a circle to places I can’t name.
And this is wanting… And this is wanting…